Wednesday, July 9, 2014

On Dating a Singer

There are roughly 7 billion people on this planet. The chances are actually quite decent that you'll end up dating at least one of them, but there are certain breeds of person that are unmistakable, easily recognizable, but sometimes a quite complicated thing to try and engage in any sort of relationship with. This is a survival guide of sorts, a list and a guide to what happens if you are planning or are in the process of dating the breed of woman known around the world as "The Singer".


Pros and Cons of Dating a Singer
Pros:
1) They are fun! a Singer, no matter what type of music they enjoy the most, are generally full of life and happy; pleasant to be around and easy going... and you can be guaranteed that mood is contagious as hell!
2) They are dedicated. Singers practice for hours on end trying to perfect their voice or whatever song they are trying to learn at that time, and the great thing about this is that this dedication leaks into most aspects of their life, and that includes their relationships! If she thinks that you're worth her attention, then you had better believe that she isn't going anywhere if she doesn't have to, and that you'll be the only one shes loving.
3) They practice until they get it right. I will take this time to let you apply your own meaning to this pro, but I can guarantee that it is one VERY strong pro. In all aspects of their life, they are perfectionists, so if they want to do something, then you had better believe that they are going to do it right, and probably better than anyone else before them.
4) They are loud. This one could technically be both a pro and a con, depending on what context you're going with here, but in the context I'm using it in, i can guarantee that its a pro...lets just say the neighbors will probably know your name even if they haven't met you.
5) They are open-minded. The music industry is always changing and always developing, so unless you have a very close minded singer, generally they are open to most ideas, opinions, and topics...anything interests them, and they don't shy away from taboo topics like most people, so they're fun to talk to.
6) You have your own personal lullaby. This might not be everyone's thing, but at least in my case, nothing on this earth puts me to sleep faster than my girlfriend quietly singing to me in some foreign language. Singers love to sing, so if you ask nicely enough to be sung to, you will very likely be granted your request...they'll probably think it's adorable that you want them to sing to help you get to sleep.
7) you have your own little rock star. Singers are show offs by nature and can be divas (especially if they are sopranos...just take my word for it) but this is absolutely adorable, because you can bet that you'll be shown off just as much as her favorite pair of shoes. Also, singers just seem to be attractive; that coupled with their personality, and you'll be getting stares of envy no matter where you go.
8) They're friendly! If you think you have friends now, your friend group will probably double in size if you get involved with a singer, because they are just social by nature, especially with fellow musicians. They just seem to attract people and friends and attention, sometimes very much without meaning to or realizing that they are doing it.
9) You get personal concerts. Again, singers LOVE to sing, and because they are so good at it, lets be honest, you don't really mind. When they get comfortable enough around you, they start singing all the time, even if its just humming, and its entrancing. Some of your best memories can be you just listening to her sing her heart out...there' just something about it that's special.
10) She will make you feel like the most important person in the world. Singers all tend to have poetic hearts, so they all tend to have a mushy side buried in there somewhere. Even if it's a rare occasion...when they choose to make you feel special, you're on top of the world and at the center of theirs.
11) They are passionate. Especially when it comes to love and music, they give their heart and soul into every ounce of their being. If she loves you, there will be no doubt. They do NOT half-ass one single thing. They can't afford to do it with anything else, so they damn sure aren't gonna start with you.
12) You will always feel appreciated. Any little thing you do for a singer, they will make it seem like it means so much, and chances are you'll be rewarded. They love sweet surprises every once in a while, and in their own way, they always say thank you. You'll never feel like you're little acts go unnoticed or ignored...they'll let you know that you're efforts are noticed.

Cons:
1) They are worriers. Singers all just tend to have this whole "I'm a dime a dozen" mentality, so if they do something that isn't outstanding or fantastic, they get all in a tizzy that it wasn't their best or that whoever it is will hate it. The other thing that singers tend to do is try and do everything at once, so they will stress themselves out so badly you're left with a nervous wreck who just needs loves, some tea and snuggle time.
2) They are career oriented. Yes, in some cases this is a pro, but when you're feeling left out and in second place because "their career comes first" it definitely becomes a con. Most singers just feel that they have to always keep their eye on the prize, because the industry they've chosen is so cutthroat, and so if they have to choose between you and an audition or a voice class...chances are you'll always lose. Just accept that now. The only good thing is that they'd never lie and tell you that you were more important than their career, but that doesn't make it any less frustrating.
3) You will always have to deal with the fear of losing them. You might mean the world to them, but their career comes first, so if an opportunity comes along that requires them leaving, chances are you'll have to say goodbye. And if you're values on relationships don't aline, this can cause problems early on.
4) If you don't agree on music, they will do everything they can to tell you in technical terms how awful it actually is. If she's into classical and you're into pop, you will never hear the end about how they are such a fake business and how they don't really work for their success and how its all auto tuned crap and how actually singing the songs would be so much harder if they could actually sing well enough to do it. Woman, I don't care. I just like the way the music sounds. Oh and don't get me started on the grumbling. If they don't like a song that's playing on your radio or iPod, they will very likely MAKE you change it.
5) They are self conscious. Again, because of the vain and superficial business they've chosen to go into, they feel constant pressure about appearances. They'll put on a terrific front and exude self confidence to others, but when you get close enough you'll see it...its unmistakable. Just make sure you tell them how gorgeous they really are, and how every little thing about them is beautiful, even the parts of them that aren't so pretty to look at sometimes..I can't stress that enough.
6) They are emotional. I suppose this is the con side of them being so passionate. Because they are so emotional and dramatic, they tend to have tempers that flare like fireworks, with about as much heat and loud banging.They also tend to get really upset about certain things, or just hide it and let it build up until it explodes. And you will receive the brunt of it, simply because you are closest to them.
7) They aren't really a part of your life, you are really a part of theirs. Its really difficult to explain this one, but simply put, singers always seem to have a life of their own that you are a part of...if you want to keep them, you have no real choice but to be a part of theirs, not vice versa, becaue their career can be so demanding. If they get big, youll either be left behind or go with them...but its never really going to be about you in the long run....if that helps explain it AT ALL.
8) They are opinionated. This one I list as a con, when in reality it just makes me laugh. When a singer thinks something is bad or not up to par, they get so uppity it is comical. They express their displeasure through hand gestures, funny faces of disgust, and the most amusing displays of outrage you can find. And they aren't quiet about it.

Dating a singer is a lot like riding a roller coaster: unpredictable, scary, you don't know what's gonna happen next, but you always in the back of your mind feel somewhat safe. This challenge isn't for everyone: singers are a different level of  woman. But if you're up for the journey, just sit down, saddle in and enjoy the ride. I guarantee it won't be anything you'll ever regret, or forget, for as long as you live.

By Autumn

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