Thursday, August 7, 2014

When it comes down to the wire

So I know we've been talking all summer about being separated. It's probably kind of annoying. But good news! In nine days, we will be reunited again. And all the worrying and anxiety and wanting and waiting will be over.  Until then, it has gotten exponentially worse.
I cannot begin to describe to you how absolutely awful it is to be so close to being able to see your SO (significant other) after being separated for a length of time. We are dying people. We are counting down the days, hours, and minutes until we get to see each other again. We are planning exactly what we'll wear (and underneath ;)) and what we're going to do as soon as we see each other. What we're going to say. How it's going to go since I'm meeting her family for the first time. We are just a mess. We probably cry every time we Skype at some point because it's getting that bad.
I'm just going to say it. There is no making it better from this point on. There is only trudging through the mess. There is only getting by. There is only making the best with what we have. Sleeping with our stuffed animals is getting really sad. Autumn is spooning hers, or attempting to, every night. Last night, I feel asleep in "my spot" on mine. I always snuggle into Autumn's left side and my head sits on her shoulder when we sleep and it's "my spot." I don't know what to do anymore until she's back in my arms. The days are long and the weeks are short. It pretty much sucks.
I honestly am feeling really run down by this whole separation. I have been busy and not busy this summer if you know what I mean. I've had a lot to do, but not really places to be. And I've been dealing with the separation on top of all that. Whenever I was stressed, Autumn could calm me down. I feel so safe wrapped up in her arms. But without her here, sometimes I feel like I'm about to run myself ragged. I am just so ready for days days to have come and gone. I will not be sleeping the night before I go get her, that's for sure.

--Mariah

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